Powerless

There is nothing that makes me feel more out of control than when a child is sick with some illness that includes vomiting. It is this great unknown, unseen, waiting to pounce evil that nothing can control.
When Becca (now 3 yrs and 8 months) was 2 yrs and 7 months, we were on a vacation to St. Louis to visit friends when she threw up all over the blocks at the Magic House (children's science museum). We surmise now that it was food poisoning, but in any case, for the following 8 or 9 hours, she vomited every hour or so. We were staying in a hotel and soon went through all the towels and linens provided in the room plus a few more the staff kindly supplied. It was a long, sleepless night [Did I mention that I was 7 months pregnant at the time?]. My husband found the laundry facility and ran a few loads including her light-up tennis shoes that never lit up after their vomit bath that day. We left for home the next morning even though our vacation was only half over.
It really is a sad and painful memory today. But the absolutely worst part was that each time she began to throw up and we rushed her sagging little body to the toilet, she somehow thought that we were causing her to vomit. She would push the bowl away and say, "No, I don't want to throw up again!!" In her mind, being put over the toilet caused the retching. I have never felt so powerless to help my baby in my life. Her weak little protests just tore at my heart.
So, Becca is again sick and threw up last night. A kind of terror seizes me and makes me feel powerless. I'm so sorry, Baby!