Now what?

Springtime always brings with it a HUGE RUSH. Becca plays soccer. Often, we schedule swimming lessons. Ballet recitals. Diana's birthday. Family/friends' graduations. Easter. Mother's Day. I can't even think of it all, but I'm sure there's more. I feel like we've had every night and weekend scheduled full for weeks and even months.

But. We've come to the end. Yesterday, Becca graduated from kindergarten, and today was the end of year picnic. Diana's school actually ended last week.

Entering next week, we have NO PLANS. I don't know what we'll do. I get this feeling every year. The "what will I do with them?" doubts. Of course, by the time school starts, I wish for the freedom again. I expect greater challenge for this transition this year because I am so sick. I've been taking lots of naps, and without school, I don't know how that will be managed. I can't just leave them unsupervised. *seeking babysitter!*

Popping out

I remember back to the first pregnancy with Becca. I think I was four months pregnant and clothes had begun to get a bit tight when a friend and coworker took me shopping for maternity clothes for the first time. When I got pregnant with Diana, I remember thinking that I had to pull out the maternity clothes much earlier.

But third baby? Bamm, right from the get-go. I'm only 7 1/2 weeks pregnant, and I've pulled out the maternity shorts. Due in part to the nausea and an intense dislike of any pressure on my middle, I can't wear my normal clothes. I've pulled out all these old dresses I've had forever so that I can be waist-pressure-free. I can safely say that I haven't bought a dress except for fancy Christmas party deals since we moved here 4 years ago, so my recent wardrobe is anything but fashionable. *sigh*

And my friend Cynthia pointed out that I look pretty pale right now, too.

Have I mentioned that I hate pregnancy?

Whoever Named It Morning Sickness

This is not morning sickness. It is All-Day-Every-Day-Drive-You-Mad Sickness. Can any man imagine what it is like to feel nausea for 3 months straight? It literally threatens your sanity.

Why did I do this again? *groan* And to top it all off, I'm all emotional today, too. I dropped the knife while making Diana's peanut butter and jelly sandwich and started crying at the huge jelly mess I'd made. (About then Spitz came home and almost got in big husband trouble for the ... how to describe it... "she's moody" man look he gave me.) Then Diana and I went to her end of the school year party. They showed a slideshow of all the pics they've taken of the kids all year. I was fighting so hard not to cry because those people don't know I'm pregnant and wouldn't understand.

I need a nap. What? Oh, yeah, I know. Pigs aren't flying yet, so, no nap!

Mother's Day Shopping

Spitz told me this story, because obviously, I wasn't there.

He took the two girls out to find Mother's Day presents for me. He likes to let them pick out something on their own - makes the presents much more meaningful (although sometimes it means... well... that it takes a mother to love them). Anyway, Becca apparently picked out a present very quickly, but they continued to shop because Diana still needed to choose. As they looked, Becca would periodically go over to Diana, place her arm around Diana's shoulders and say, "Now, Diana, you have to pick a really special present for Mommy because we have a really awesome mommy. And she deserves a very good present."

*cry* She is so sweet!

Update/Rambling

It has been a busy 2 weeks!

At playgroup on 5/4, I couldn't keep the new addition to the family secret from the other moms because Mindy saw me and immediately said, "So are you?" I had to hush her excitement at my response because Becca and Diana didn't know yet. Three days later at Bunco, Lesa asked me straight out, too. My friends are nosy!!! (-;

Friday we bought our new mini van, a 2007 Honda Odyssey EX-L. I love it! We were not really going for the new car, but looking for the Derby vans. Kristi told me about them at Bunco last week. Honda gives some minivans to the Derby Festival, and they are used for whatever for about a month. Then they go back to Honda with about 3,000 miles on them - for a bit of cleanup and sale to the public. Rumor is that you can get a pretty good deal on them. Well, the dealership we went to was pretty much asking the price of a new van. Pfft. Spitz basically said, "We'll pay you x and we want the 0% financing you are giving on new cars." They said, "Um, sorry, the good financing is only available on new cars... but we'll sell you a new one for that." So, surprise, I drove home a new van at about midnight (paperwork to buy a car takes FOREVER - because of the stupid waiting they make you do while they "check with their manager" on every point). Hmm. And we suspect we offered too much for the Derby Van with 3200 miles on it.

Saturday, Diana had a fabulous birthday and party. I ordered food from a restaurant and only had to make the cake. It was perfect weather for most people to sit outside the whole time. It was the most relaxed party I've ever given. A lot of fun. The hit presents were a remote-controlled car and a music box that plays music when she opens it. And she has a closet full of new very fancy dresses to strut around in! (Diana wears nothing else! She is a fashion plate.)

We announced my pregnancy at the party. We basically pulled the girls aside and told them. After a few seconds for it to sink in, they both went running back into the heart of the party and yelled, "Diana is going to be a big sister!!" It was really adorable. The only downside to this was my mother-in-law's comment, "I was right!" She manages to irritate me in every conceivable way, even when I'm really trying to not be in a bad mood towards her. *sigh*

(So, now the only secret is on WoW because Spitz wants to announce it at our next guild meeting.)

On a final note, the timing has proved perfect because my brother and his wife (who are moving back to Columbus after his graduation this week, need an additional family-friendly car, and hope to start a family soon) want to buy my Toyota Avalon. We didn't use it as a trade-in because we don't have the paperwork yet to have a free-and-clear title. But this works out nicely, except for the fact that it is really better to not do business with family. Really.

And today, the morning sickness has arrived. )-:

Flatten Chicken Breasts to 1/4" Thickness

I've read this in a recipe repeatedly when scanning cookbooks in the past, but I've never made a recipe that called for it. Ok. So.

Messy, nasty, more challenging than you'd expect. And it actually turns my stomach a bit to think of what taking a heavy, marble rolling pin to (what was) living, breathing flesh looks like.

So, I've declared my pounding step complete, but they surely aren't 1/4 inch thick. I think if I really got them that thin, they wouldn't be in one piece anymore. Actually, they are only sort of in one piece now. Hmm. I hope that once I roll them up around butter/parsley/chives and then dip and bread them, they will be more appetizing. I'm sure they will be to anyone who hasn't seen the current status.

The Results Are In

YES!!



(shhhh, it's a secret. Seriously.)

The Waiting

So, has it happened?
*shrug* I can't tell you. I don't know myself.
Do I think it has?
I hope so. The waiting is killing me. Usually I've tested by now, but Spitz wants me to wait this time.
Time to test yet?
Well, the box says so, but to keep marital harmony, I'll wait a few more days.

The waiting is killing me.

Kid Tidbits

I got two chuckles from my daughters today.

First - At dinner both girls clamored to be able to be the one to say the prayer before the meal. Diana 2.12 (almost to her birthday now) was given permission to start it off. Her prayer was as follows: "Dear God, Thank you for today. Thank you for Daddy and Mommy getting married. Amen." [Frequently it is obvious what in the child's life has prompted a prayer or unusual comment. This one was out of left field. ???]

Second - Becca and the rest of her school were treated to a magic show today. The father of one of her classmates is a professional magician. She was full of stories of it when she got home. Her favorite trick from the whole show was when he had a flower and tried to smell it, but each time he put it to his nose, it bent over, keeping him from actually smelling it. I've seen this joke and recognized it from her description. But the funny part is how she described it. "Every time he tried to smell it, it stuck it's butt in his face!" LOL

You Learn Something New Every Day

So, the new thing I learned yesterday was that tree roots continue to grow for about 7 years after the tree itself has been cut down. Who knew?

I learned this from the plumber who had just spent 3 1/2 hours running 144 feet of snake down the main drain in our basement (which had begun backing up nasty smelling water). He brought out a TON of tree roots and miscellaneous gunk.

Adoption

When you hear about a family adopting a child internationally, does it pull at you? Do you get misty-eyed and think about what it would be like to try to integrate a toddler (since usually it takes so long, they are no longer babies) into your life that you didn't meet as a newborn? A toddler who likely does not understand English at all. Do you think about the love they've been missing in an orphanage somewhere or maybe the food or clothing they've done without? Do you feel like someday, you should do that, too?

Am I the only one who feels a pull every time I hear of an adoption seminar or meets a family at church with a child from an obviously different heritage? All my life, stories of international adoptions have ... how to describe it?... reached me. Really tugged at me, brought out emotion and avid interest. Drawn my thoughts over and over again. Some days I would even say that I feel God's calling to reach out to some child on the other side of the world that doesn't get a hug each day or who goes to bed cold. I can't stop the feeling that I'm supposed to do that.

We have the resources, at least financially. International adoptions are incredibly expensive. I've heard that before, but it is really hitting home as I've recently started reading the blog of a family working to complete their 3rd international adoption. A family barely out of debt from the first 2 adoptions and trying to reach a third child on a shoestring budget. Wow does the process sound complicated, expensive and exhausting. Yet, I read on because I feel like I might need to know this stuff.

Do we have the resources physically and emotionally? Hmmm. I've never been one to enjoy taking care of lots of kids. I'm an accountant, for goodness sake. I like order and numbers on paper. Patience is my biggest struggle with my girls. But I love them. So much. And maybe that's more important.

My husband doesn't share the urgency I feel when I bring up this urge to look into adoption. We have 2 beautiful little girls and might soon be expecting another if things work out right. Way back when we first discussed "kids or no kids?" before we were even married, he was not in favor of having many because of the world population explosion. He is very concerned with recycling and being wise in our use of resources and didn't want to add to the burden humans place on earth. At that time, there was a brief discussion of adopting, but only in the context of "let's only have 2 naturally and if we want more, we could adopt." But now? Now he's a physician and is concerned that we'd never know the child's medical background or the illnesses that babe would already have. And he just does the "Yes, dear" thing if I bring it up.

There's a couple in our Sunday School class who've known forever that they are meant to adopt. They are saving up for it. They have 3 of their own already, but they know that God has a sister-brother pair of children somewhere in the world in mind for them and they are saving until some point they will start the process. Sometimes I wonder, is what I feel, the pull, the calling, is it what they feel?

Is there a little boy or girl, maybe not even born yet, destined to be part of my family? Does he or she need me? Need us? It haunts me.

lag

It's really hard to keep up with a blog. Free time is scarce. Hence the post lag here.