My Evening of Trial

A few nights ago, I had an evening that ..., well, I don't really know how to describe it except to describe it:
My husband was putting our infant to bed, and I was assigned the three-year-old's bedtime management. She has been a handful for the last 2 weeks - a reaction to her father being out of town for 4 days at a dermatology conference in New Orleans. (As she called it, "the country of New Orleans.") There are a few required steps to this routine such as using the toilet, putting on jammies, brushing teeth and bedtime snacking.
She was, of course, very agreeable to the bedtime snacking part. And only that part.
I herded her into the bathroom to go the potty, and she was convinced over only minor struggles to sit and pee. At that point, I discovered that she had not arrived in time and needed new panties to replace the wet ones. I was a bit upset (this has been happening a lot) and gave her a lecture about how disappointed I was and how I knew that she could get to the bathroom on time and how big girls know how to use the potty.... I guess this whole thing ticked her off. When I got back with the new undies, she was standing IN THE TOILET which, of course, hadn't been flushed. And giggling at me when I just gaped at her for a moment.
In the process of getting her out and trying to dry off her feet with the hand towel - the first thing in reach - she kicked me with a pee-covered foot. [At this point, I began to chant out loud to myself, "I will not hit you. I will not hit you."] So I told her she was going to bed right then without any more bedtime snack. I believe I carried her up the stairs to the bathroom to brush her teeth while she verbally protested.
I pretty much had to pry open her mouth and brush her teeth myself. She did not enjoy this, and I'm sure it was not a very effective cleaning. Then I was putting her into her pajamas when she bit me. Several times, although she was doing that whole watching me as she did it to see my reaction and not really biting whole-heartedly.
I promptly picked her up and carried her to her room, dropped her on the bed and told her goodnight while closing the door. In her only wise move of the night, she never came out.